Saturday started with Alzheimer's and pancakes then ended with Tequila!

I had no idea what my Saturday had in store for me. I had it all planned out. I was attending a pancake breakfast at my Mothers Alzheimer's home benefit for Alzheimer's in the AM. Then I would take a little bike ride with hubby and the afternoon attend a adult birthday party at my sons girl friends parents house. Sounds interesting huh? It was!

When I woke up I was feeling “out of sorts”. I had a rough night sleep and my head was pounding already. Just some of the wonderful menopause symptoms I have lately. I left my house that morning for the pancake breakfast with a 5 lb chocolate bar my company donated for a raffle and hubby in tow. On arrival I was happy to see a big turnout for the breakfast. A few weeks back I was brain storming with the assistant director. I suggested asking the cooking school around the corner for chefs to volunteer. She asked the school and several inspiring chefs volunteered to help on the grills. The local Starbucks donated coffee, IHOP donated pancake batter, and Raley’s Foods donated berries. I wish I remembered to take pictures of the spread.

 We found a table and I went looking for my mom. Unless you know someone with this disease you may not know what it is like to walk through the halls of such a care home. Interesting to say the least! Alzheimer’s affects its patients differently. So here I am walking through the halls looking for my mom who at this stage of her life has become a marathon runner or something. Her attention span is that of a toddler, and she doesn’t sit in one place long. So I ask her nurses and they all remember seeing her at opposite ends of the building. I find her sitting in the common area. So I have her walk with me outside to sit with us. Her nurses gave her a shower and her hair was still slightly wet. Too bad because there were some clouds and it was breezy so she got cold but couldn't communicate it and it made her cry. I asked her not to cry, and that I would get her a blanket. Just then for a split second she recognized me. I could see it in her face. Then the tears started for both of us. She usually mumbles but just then she kept saying she was sorry it wasn't her fault. I felt so sad. I had a nurse get her a blanket but she wanted to go inside. I went to stand in the food line with my husband and let him hold me while a cried.

 I later went looking for my mom and some nurses directed me to another patient’s room where she was quietly sitting watching an infomercial. Yuck. I asked her if she want to come outside and eat but I couldn’t get her attention. So I brought her breakfast to her and her nurse fed her. I did get her to laugh and smile then I said my goodbyes and left. As least I made her smile.

The visit with my mom got me shook up. I was already out of it when I woke up. When I got home I knew I needed to do something to get my mind off the visit. It was too breezy to ride bikes hubby said so we went to the Home Depot to buy a plant for the birthday party later and to the pet store. We found a nice plant and bought frozen shrimp and cat treats. A successful shopping trip. I brought the plant inside to clean up but I forgot to bring the frozen shrimp in until 2 hours later. The stress of the day got the best of me and I wasn’t thinking straight. It makes me so mad. Then my head pounds harder.  I still had a birthday party to attend.

Cont,,,,,,

(next post, Holy Guacamole!) 

When life keep waking you up, and other Menopausal gripes.

This past year has been crazy for me. It feels like the older I get the faster life speeds by me. So many things are happening in my life right now. I find myself looking back to my past regretting not doing things differently. I'm not sure if it is maturity or menopause. (More on this later). My children are grown and working on their lives. None of them have children yet. This is good for them but difficult for me. I am excited at the thought of being a Grandma. My mother was a awesome grandmother to my children in every way! I say was, because she has been stricken with one of the worse diseases to hit the older generation Alzheimer's. She is in a care home now and doesn't know her family or the grandchildren she loved so much. She wear diapers and laughs a lot. Her father also had Alzheimer's and pasted away recently. I am afraid this disease is hereditary and I wont be able to spend time with grandchildren or worse I will have enough time with them and then be stricken with the disease only to bring heart break to them. I know too well the heart ache of having someone in this condition. You loose your memories, you independence your dignity. This is one of the many thoughts I have bombarding my brain daily as I drive around working. After awhile I get depressed. This is the Menopause again. I said I would say more on this.
In recent months I have what I call "waves" of symptoms. Depressions, migraines, stomach ailments, appetite changes, hot flashes and loss of sleep. To me it feels like PMS on steroids. These symptoms have been coming on every few weeks and last for about a week. More intense as the months go by. This last month was the worse. My husband asked me to call my Dr. (haven't yet). I felt like a blob. When asked a question I couldn't come up with a answer. I was unable to make decisions. I couldn't even decide what to eat or what to wear, and everything made me cry. The depression slowly faded although I feel it trying to rear its ugly head now and then. (more on the failed Chicken and Alfredo dinner).
I mentioned the thoughts bombarding my brain. I drive for a living. Sometime a hundred miles a day. Not your big time truck driver miles, but enough to pick at your sanity. When you alone with your thoughts anything is fair game. I tend to take on stresses form people around me. I want to help them or fix their life. I usually find the best fix is money. I have been kind of low on that lately. Besides my part time sales job, I also have my Real Estate Agent License. I love selling real estate but have been unable to in this bad economy. Don't get me started on the economy. I blame corporate America and greed for most of our problems. Yet I currently work for a big corporation as does my husband and I shop at Walmart to save money. This is a whole new subject. More on this later. See what I mean about my sanity?